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Friday, March 26, 2010

Bipolar Disorder

I’m pretty sure I have bi-polar disorder, or at least a variation of it. My mood swings tend to follow the seasons, happy during spring and fall, sad during summer and winter. When I was talking to my mom about it today I realized I’m probably in an upswing and that’s why I’m having such a hard time being sad about the breakup.

These mood swings are probably the real reason why Andy broke up with me. There were times where I was so depressed that it was all I could do to convince myself to go over to his room. I would sit there and cry for hours. I wouldn’t say much, just cry.  He claims I didn't trust him. I don’t think he realized how much trust it took for me to cry in front of him. I’ve tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t say anything back to me. No "It'll be okay" or "I'm here for you." Just silence and that was really hard on me.

But that’s over and past now. The mood swings are just another thing to put on the list to warn my next boyfriend about.