I'm Trying the 7 Minute Workout

I downloaded the 7 Minute Workout app months ago. I never even opened it. I'm pretty sure it cost me like $3. I figured if I paid for it I would be more likely to use it. Apparently that was not the case.

I tried doing Yoga a couple times during January and while it was fulfilling and lovely the videos were almost an hour long. I'm not willing to get up extra early in the morning just to watch a yoga video. Not when the options of location are in my living room where my roommates can see me, or in my bedroom with my husband still trying to sleep.

I do stretches at work when I'm bored and I was content with that for now. I visited a bunch of friends and family this last weekend and it reminded me that I really do want to get in better shape. So I decided I had to get back on the fitness wagon. I thought about starting up the yoga again but then decided to try out that crazy 7 Minute Workout app that I had downloaded.

This is what happened.

I looked through the exercises. They all seemed fairly straightforward. I didn't really look at the science behind the exercises or really anything about how this worked I just hit start and decided to see what would happen.

Jumping Jacks: I love jumping jacks. This is an easy enough place to start. Oh... I should have worn a bra for this. But okay, I'm breathing fine. I'm okay.

Wall Sit: Okay, I'm a little out of breath but wall sits aren't that hard. I've been trying them a little at work. I made it through about 20 seconds.

Push Ups: I tried doing regular and managed to do one, so I settled for doing girl pushups. Now I'm really breathing hard.

Abdominal Crunches: I was the master of these in middle school. I had abs like steel. Now I can barely get my shoulder blades off the floor.

Step Up Onto a Chair: I have short ceilings in my bedroom, luckily I had just enough space to manage this. Also an easy exercise.

Squats: I actually like this one. I think I might do this at work more often.

Tricep Dips on a Chair: I have no idea how to do this exercise. I feel like I'm moving the wrong parts of my body. I think I'm supposed to be using my arms but I feel like I'm just hip thrusting into the air.

Plank: I'm good at planking. Just keep breathing and you're fine.

High Knees Running in Place: I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.

Lunge: Ahhh, my body hurts so bad. Why am I doing this to myself? Every time I lunge I worry I won't be able to straighten back up again. My whole body is pain.

Push Up With Rotation: This is really hard when you're doing girl push ups. Again, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Side Plank: I don't know how to do this either, but it would probably be easier if I were wearing shoes and not on carpet.

I did not realize a 7 Minute Workout would drain me like this one did. I feel good, I feel accomplished, I feel like I deserve the shower I'm going to take.

So we'll see how long I can keep this one going.

Also there are a ton of free places you can do this workout online and a bunch of other apps that aren't as pretty as this one but are much cheaper.

List Yourself: List All of the Reading Material in Your Bathroom

I actually have a huge stack of magazines in my upstairs bathroom. I wound up with this subscription to multiple magazines a few years ago. I canceled the card because I was pretty sure it was a scam but they just kept sending me magazines. The magazines managed to follow me to my new address and they are just for weird stuff. So I just have piles and piles of magazines. I have the internet so I don't read magazines. So into the bathroom they go for the off chance I forget my phone or we have guests over. Us Weekly and Bloomberg Businessweek are the only two I actually care about. 

Before the magazines came into my life I would read the back of hair products, the back of the tampon box. I would just read everything in the bathroom no matter how many times I had read it before. It was just a habit. I guess that's why my mother put up educational posters in the bathroom at her house. That way you can learn about the circulatory system while you do your business. 

My 5 New Habits for January

I've been working on a few new habits for this new year. They aren't resolutions just ways I'm trying to better myself.

1. Bullet Journaling
Mid December I learned about Bullet Journaling. It's a free form sort of day planner. I'm loving it. I'm learning and changing each day what works for me. I use it more for recording my day then planning what I'm going to do next. I write down chores sometimes and I keep my shopping list in it. My job has really slowed down now that Christmas is over. I keep my journal with me at work and I write stuff down as I think of it. I've also been feeling more productive because I am actually looking at my lists and wanting to get things done.

Bullet Journal Complete with Sudoku Puzzle

2. Morning Pages in my Bullet Journal
I've been doing morning pages on and off for years. For a long time I did them online through 750words.com, It was tough though, if I forgot to get online, or I was somewhere that I couldn't easily connect to the internet then I didn't do them. I broke my 100 day streak because I went to Anime Detour and there was no wifi.

So now I'm doing them in my bullet journal. I try to do a page every day. I usually write before I go to work. Some days I only get halfway through the page and some days I don't write at all. I'm not pressuring myself about it. I also let myself have as much time as I need. With the online site it was always a race to see how quickly I could finish, because after you submit it will tell you how long it took you to reach 750 words.

I've been using it to work through some of my daily anxieties and worries, as well as using it to talk myself through new projects.

3. Drinking More Water
I have check boxes in my bullet journal for each 20 oz bottle of water I drink. At work I get a break every two hours so this schedule allows me to easily drink enough water for the day. It's when I'm at home and I don't remember to drink enough water. I'm getting better. The checkboxes help.

4. Taking My Vitamins
I'm trying to eat better but I know I'm still not getting the vitamins I need. I have one of those pill boxes with spots for each day of the week. I keep it in my lunch box so I can take them with food on my dinner break at work. This is by far my favorite life hack.

5. Eating Meals at the Table
I've been searching Pinterest for some better dinner recipes. I'm not searching for health, I'm searching for straight up delicious food. My mother doesn't eat meat and is a bland cook. She is a picky eater and her idea of flavor is topping her mashed potatoes with cottage cheese. I'm learning how to use spices and I taught myself to like bell peppers a few years back. So basically I can cook you a potato five different ways but if you hand me a chunk of meat I won't know what to do with it.

Pinterest has come to the rescue and I've been finding some great stuff. If I'm making good meals I want to be able to sit down and enjoy them. So I've implemented dinner time at the table. We usually have dinner on the couch in front of the tv because we don't actually have a real table, just a sad card table. So now we have sit down dinner together on my days off when we can actually eat dinner together.

I'm learning to love cooking and I can tell that Josh is really enjoying eating something other than potatoes.

Why You Shouldn't go on a Diet this Year

I'm not a doctor or a food expert but I am a sort of overweight person who has tried multiple time to make changes to my eating habits. 

Here's the thing, complete restriction of certain items from your diet never works. How many times have you said to yourself "I'm cutting out fast food completely," or "I'm not drinking any more soda." Probably a lot. I have too. I've also promised myself to cut out alcohol, and chocolate and that never worked either. Cutting something out just makes you want it more. 

So love yourself and ease yourself into these changes, it will make you feel like you have more control over yourself and you can still enjoy some of the stuff, because honestly it's good. 

Five Guys Burger and Fries

"Stop Eating Fast Food" - The saltiness of fast food makes you want to eat it all the time. It's cheap, it's quick, and it's so satisfying. Start by getting rid of one item you usually buy when you purchase a meal. Most people probably get a sandwich, a drink, and some fries (the accompanying picture is from Five Guys, it’s so good but also so greasy). Skip the drink, or the fries. Better yet skip both. Wean yourself down to a single item, then try to eat that single item less and less frequently.

"Stop Drinking Pop" - Okay, I'm from Minnesota... Start by cutting out fountain drinks. You're paying way too much for them anyway. Whenever you feel like you want a pop drink a glass of water instead. You're probably just thirsty and that can translate as a craving for a sugary drink. I've proven this to myself many times at work. I can get a can of pop for fifty cents in my break room. Sometimes I'll really, really want it but not have any change. So I'll drink my water like a good girl and bam the cravings are gone. 

On the flip side it can be tough to add in foods that you don't eat very often. It can take 10-15 exposures to a new food to learn to like it. I spent one summer of college putting bell peppers into everything I ate. I learned to love them. Now I just have to do the same thing with tomatoes and I'll be set. My biggest advice is to start adding them in to things you already eat. Bell peppers are great for this. Dice them up and throw them in everything. Another thing is learning how to season vegetables so they actually taste good. Don't just boil them or steam them. Give them some flavor with seasonings or a sauce. Learn to make stir fry, it's a great way to learn to like vegetables (it's how I learned to like bell peppers). 

Or if you aren't ready to cut or add just yet trying shrinking your portion sizes by using smaller dishes or by waiting fifteen minutes before getting seconds. 

Stir Fry Veggies are My Favorite

I'm Not Making any New Year's Resolutions

I'm not making any resolutions this year. I have some small goals and general life changes that I am going to implement but no hard resolutions. I'm just going to put small things on my to-do list and vow to get them done. I have no year-long plans. Just some small stuff.

I'm Not Making any New Year Resolutions This Year

But I guess if I have to give some of my wide reaching goals I'll summarize them like this;

• Write More
• Be Healthier
• Do More Stuff

Write More: I'm always planning to "write more." It's my resolution at the start of every year. The last couple years I've attached numbers. Write 2 blog posts a week. Write 10 articles this month. This year I'm just going for straight up more. Because I'm currently at almost zero. I'm working really hard to complete my Morning Pages every morning in my Bullet Journal. So far it's going well, but it's only day 2. I'll check in later this month to let everyone know how I'm doing. 

Be Healthier: I'm not doing weight loss, exercise, or diet goals this year. I'm just not. Last year I got a gym membership, I tracked my calories, I changed my birth control and it got me nowhere. I did manage to drop a couple pant sizes by the end of the year but I didn't lose any weight. That was disappointing. 

So this year I'm not even going there. I'm going to focus on making myself feel good, not feel pressured or bad about myself. I'm following a youtube yoga class for the month because I'd like to be more flexible. As for food I'm just trying to find stuff that Josh and I both like that's easy to make. The health factor comes from the fact that I'm actually making it. I'll settle for that at this point in my life. I already use a lot of vegetables when I'm cooking. I'm also trying to keep salad supplies on hand so I have an easy lunch to throw together so I don't have to buy a lunch at work.

Ranch Dressing and Red Cabbage Ready for the Week

Do More Stuff: This one is truly hard to quantify. I work at Walmart. I don't want to speak to anyone when I am done with work. Sometimes talking to Josh or my roommates can be difficult. But I want to make an effort to get out more and to just do more stuff. I want to start trying out local restaurants and learn some stuff. We've been in Duluth for a year and a half and we still only know a couple good restaurants. I started playing the geo game Ingress and that's been getting me out a little bit. I've already discovered some stuff I never would have found without it. 

Clean Slate

I'm starting this new year with a clean slate. I sorted through all of my old blog posts and culled the ones that didn't fit my message. There was a lot of weird stuff in there. It was stuff that made sense at the time but in the big picture it didn't really fit. I'm going to use January to find my blogging voice.

I deleted my old Twitter account and started a new one. I'm looking forward to the genuine followers I get. I'm also trying to be more active on Instagram. There are some really cool people out there.

One of my big goals is to get my craft supplies sorted and organized. I don't even have that much art stuff. I just have a little of everything and so it's all mostly useless unless I buy a bunch more stuff. I have a tiny bit of painting supplies, I have a tiny bit of scrapbooking supplies. I have crayons that I've been carrying around for years and maybe used once. I need to be more realistic about what I'm actually going to accomplish.

I started Bullet Journaling last month and I'm looking forward to using it to it's fullest extent in the coming year. It's already got me writing, reading, working out, and blogging. I started doing my Morning Pages again and I'm going to try to actually complete The Artist's Way Workbook.

Josh and I made a pact that we wouldn't eat any fast food or take out until Valentine's Day, unless we specifically plan a date night. That means no randomly going out just because we don't feel like cooking.

As part of my clean slate prompt I promised myself I would get my desk cleaned off. And I did. It had all of our wedding gift cards laying around on it as well as some fabric from my wedding dress. That was two months ago. So now I can actually use my desk to work out. I'm very proud of myself.

I Cleaned My Desk Off

Glasses vs. Contacts

Tattoo sleeves for Halloween at Walmart.

I got contacts this past week. I'm really liking them. It's got me thinking about my appearance. I first got glasses when I was thirteen. Almost everyone I knew had glasses before me and some were starting to get contacts. They've become part of my identity for the past 11 years. When I had to draw self portraits they would contain my glasses (I also really loved the shape of them).

The funny part is that when I would go to school dances or parties where I really wanted to "dress up" I would take my glasses off. I didn't wear makeup at that point, but in my mind it was prettier to not wear my glasses. I don't know if it was the fact that nearly everyone wore contacts once they got to high school. And when I would take "glamour shots" of my face I would always remove my glasses because I thought it looked nicer (also because glare, yuck).

Day 1 wearing contacts. Also I voted. 

Since I've moved to Duluth I've been wearing makeup pretty regularly when I go to work. I've been wanting to dress up, wear my large earrings and not look like a total slob and now that Walmart has upgraded their dress code it really makes me want to try harder with my appearance.

Wearing contacts the last couple days has been strange to me, it feels like my face is empty but I can still see well enough that I'm not trying to adjust the glasses that are not on my face (which is usually what happens if I'm not wearing them for some reason).

What Makes Certain Places Feel Like Home?

I’m counting down my final week in Marshall. It’s really starting to hit me that I’m actually moving away. All of my possessions are packed and I’ve gotten my address changed over and everything else but it just didn’t feel real quite yet. At this time next week I’m going to be spending my first night in my new home.

It’s making me realize that Marshall has actually become a pretty big part of my life. I’ve been here for over 6 years now. That’s a really long time. I came here for college and I didn’t really expect it to be anything else.

I’ve made and lost a lot of friends here. I’ve discovered that friendships are sort of fluid and it’s easy to drop out of people’s lives.

There’s a lot of good memories in my apartment. Sure, it’s cramped, underground, and poorly lit but it was partly mine. It took a while to feel that way though. Chris lived here first and Josh moved in with him. Then Jess and I moved in and Chris moved out. Then Chris moved back in and Jess moved out. It’s all very complicated but it’s been one of the best living situations I’ve been in ever. I’m glad Chris agreed to come to Duluth with us.

Duluth is going to be the beginning of a new era. I’m an adult with a college degree. I’m not a “student” anymore. I’m ready for that next step. I’m sick of people asking me when I’m going to be done with school. It’s really awkward to tell them I graduated a year ago. Then they want to know what my degree was and what I plan on doing with it. My degree is creative writing and I plan on using it to work at Walmart for the foreseeable future.

I don’t think it will take long to make Duluth feel like home. I feel like I’m familiar with the area already from all of the searching I’ve been doing with Google Earth. I haven’t been there since I was eight.

It will be nice that we’re all moving into this house at the same time. It will be everyone’s equally. It’s not like we’re moving in with someone already living there. I’ll be able to get things the way I want them. I don’t think the boys will care as long as they can easily play their video games and we all have the ability to have alone time.

So I’m not really sure what makes a place feel like home. I think it’s being comfortable with the place you live and the people you live with. I’m comfortable with Josh and Chris. It should be the same way when we move in with Jim.

I'm Moving

I'm moving out of Marshall and going to Duluth. It was sort of a joke at first. Our friend Jim (who currently lives in Duluth) came down to visit during my birthday in December. He casually suggested that we should move up there with him because his lease was up at the end of April and he needed somewhere new to live and some new roommates. We were all intoxicated and we laughed it off but none of us really thought it was a terrible idea.

We were mostly serious when we told him yes but we ignored it for a while until we knew we were fully sober and making the right decision.

So we spent a while searching for a place and of course Jim is the only one up there so he was mostly in charge of that. He found us a nice place and we signed the lease a couple weeks ago. None of us were able to make it up there to see the place and we didn't get a chance to see pictures either but we trust Jim so this should be fun.

So yeah, we're moving into a house we've never seen. I did manage to find a link to the ad that Jim saw but all of the pictures were old and I guess a lot of things had been updated which is exciting.

I can't believe I'm finally getting out of Marshall. I've been here for 6 years now and I'm ready to get out. College was fun here but this last year I've lost touch with a lot of people and most of my friends have graduated and moved away.

We're a block away from the Burrito Union which looks like it might be the best place ever. We're also about three blocks from the Anytime Fitness which means no more excuses and about five blocks from the lake.

Election 2012

I voted! I stuck the sticker to my computer.

Josh voted too. He wasn't feeling well so as soon as he was handed the sticker he stuck it to his face.

Yep, I voted. I feel like such an American. Also because I watched the election results come in. So I spent 4 hours staring at my computer screen watching the updates. It was more exciting than it probably should have been. But I got all of my roommates interested in it too. 

I'm also proud of Minnesota for voting against a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. That means in the future we can try to legalize it. (If the vote had passed we would have had to go through the trouble of getting rid of the amendment before it could be legalized.) Hopefully we will soon be following in the footsteps of Maine and Maryland who legalized gay marriage. 

I'm Going a Little Batty

So we've been having crazy trouble with bats at my house. They keep getting in, then they fly around the basement, then they crawl under my door and into my bedroom. I don't know why they decide to crawl under my door but that's what they do.

This one is in our living room. He's just chillin' there. My mom opened the door to try to get him to leave and another one flew in. Get out of my house.

A New Chapter

"A new chapter in your life is being written." This is the fortune I received under the cap of my Jones Soda today. I couldn't believe it. It was so right on. I just dyed my hair purple yesterday and I finished off my journal last week. So it's pretty much a new beginning for a lot of things. Especially with me dating Josh now, that is most definitely a new beginning. So I'm pretty excited about this Jones Soda fortune. I think this means good things.

New Beginnings

I had a really nice, long conversation with a friend of mine the other night. It felt good to tell someone about everything that has been going on in my life. He told me a lot about his life as well. It was fun getting to know him, he’s a lot different than he seems. Before he left he gave me a hug, a good one. It felt so nice. I just wanted to melt in his arms.

Then last night he hung around after the movie we watched and was the last one to leave. I wanted to tell him I liked him but I couldn’t do it face to face, especially since an hour earlier he had commented on how having a girlfriend at this point would not be the best thing for him. And I was still trying to get over Andy. I decided I had to tell him one way or another. I’ve heard too many stories of people too afraid to tell somebody they like them and then they get passed by.

So I texted him and told him straight up that I liked him. He said he noticed but didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t over Andy. Now I’m kicking myself for that comment. I don’t really think I’m ready but I’m sick of being depressed about being alone. I don’t even know if he likes me back, though he has been flirting with me as much as I’ve been flirting with him so I guess he does.

I’m a little scared to get into another relationship, but this guy is really nice and he actually listens and actually seems to care. The more I hang out with him the more I like him. He makes me feel happier than I have in a while. 

Bipolar Disorder

I’m pretty sure I have bi-polar disorder, or at least a variation of it. My mood swings tend to follow the seasons, happy during spring and fall, sad during summer and winter. When I was talking to my mom about it today I realized I’m probably in an upswing and that’s why I’m having such a hard time being sad about the breakup.

These mood swings are probably the real reason why Andy broke up with me. There were times where I was so depressed that it was all I could do to convince myself to go over to his room. I would sit there and cry for hours. I wouldn’t say much, just cry.  He claims I didn't trust him. I don’t think he realized how much trust it took for me to cry in front of him. I’ve tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t say anything back to me. No "It'll be okay" or "I'm here for you." Just silence and that was really hard on me.

But that’s over and past now. The mood swings are just another thing to put on the list to warn my next boyfriend about.

Relationships

The breakup has been good for me. I’m suddenly realizing how awesome the single guys I hang out with are. There are a couple guys I like and as I mentioned before I went on a "date" with one of them. There is another guy though, one of the nerd types who has never had a girlfriend that I’ve been toying with the notion of dating. He’s really nice even though everyone else thinks he’s kind of weird. He’s also more attractive than people give him credit for, although my scale of attractive takes into account things other than just appearance.

Two friends of mine just started dating each other. I'm better friends with the guy and was mildly interested in him but he has a girlfriend now so he’s off the list of available guys. He talks to me about dating her and he’s noticed she’s kind of clingy and overly excited because this is her first relationship. He says if she doesn’t chill out he’s going to break it off with her. She seems to think it's going to last but I don't think it will. They could almost be right for each other but not really. It's also funny because she is suddenly showing interest in everything he does. The video games, the activities and clubs. She's diving into this head first and trying to impress him. I just laugh. It’s not worth it.

I'm pretty much over Andy. I'm doing much better. I think getting back into the dating world would help, but I promised the guy I went on the date with that I would give him a chance and I told him that I didn't want to date till next year. So we'll just see what happens. Maybe I'll change my mind. Though I know I won't be seeing much of a boyfriend over the summer. Oh well, job comes first in this situation.

Anime and Men

I went on a pseudo date with the brother of a friend of mine on Friday. Apparently he kind of likes me and she thought we would make a cute couple. I expressed that I had no interest in dating anytime soon and apparently he is willing to wait for me. So hey, that's cool. He's a really nice guy and pretty sweet. He's 24 which is probably a little older than I really want to date but whatever, he's nice enough, I can deal.

There were a couple of his sister’s friends at his place watching “New Moon.” When that got over we watched “The Men Who Stare at Goats.” We’re both kind of nerds so we laughed at all the star wars references.  Then we decided to watch “The Prestige” because we had nothing better to do. The girls left at this point so it was just me and him. It was awkward but in a cute sort of away. I'm definitely looking forward to spending more time with him... I feel like such a girl.

I spent the rest of the weekend at the anime overload  (24 hours of anime that runs from noon on Saturday to noon on Sunday). We watched “Escaflowne” and “Black Cat” as well as the “Case Closed” movie.

The anime club at my school had one of their events last night. It's called an overload and it's exactly what the name states... an overload of anime. Basically 24 hours trapped in a lecture hall with some of my fellow nerds. What a way to spend a weekend. It started at noon on Saturday and went until noon on Sunday.

I ended up sleeping on the floor because I didn’t really like either series, but I’m the secretary so I’m supposed to show up at these events and take a turn running the remote.

On another note, I've still been trying to work through my breakup with Andy and it's really messing with my head. I'm trying to rationalize something that doesn't make sense. I just have to move on with my life. I'll always remember him. He was great for me at that point in my life but we both need to move forward.

Taking a "Break"

I had a fight with my boyfriend the Thursday before Valentines Day. I was mad because he was going home and he hadn't thought to tell me until the very last moment. I said some mean things to him via text message and I felt really bad about it, but I felt like he didn't care about what I was feeling. I was angry.

He said he had to think about some things over the weekend. This made me nervous. I had a good weekend hanging out with my friends and watching movies but there was always that worry in the back of my mind. Would he really be stupid enough to break up with me over something like this? He can be kind of irrational but I figured he would be over it by the time he got back. He wasn't coming back until Monday afternoon because of President's Day.

On Monday I was hanging out with some friends watching TV and my boyfriend came by and said hi. At that point he went back to his room and texted me. "I have to talk to you." I went up to his room to see what he had to say. He wanted to "take a break" from our relationship because he felt like I was trying to change him and he didn't like that. I was in shock. He had just broken up with me.

I kind of stumbled out of the room. I considered going back to my room and sobbing but decided I should just continue watching TV with the guys. My friend Josh had been sitting next to me on one of the smaller couches. I slumped back into my spot and covered myself with my jacket, trying not to show what I was feeling.

"Sexy time?" Josh asked.

"Not so much." I barely managed to say the words without breaking down.

"What's up?"

"Andy just broke up with me."

I didn’t cry for about a week and even then it was sort of forced. I’ve spent too many tears on this guy and didn’t need to spend any more on him.

I was reading through my journal last night, looking through everything I'd been through with him. We never fought, ever. And looking back, this really should have just been a fight, not a breakup. I don't know what's wrong with him.

Everyone thinks he's stupid for breaking up with me and they all expected me to be the one to break up with him because he always acted like such a jerk. I loved him. I wasn't going to break up with him.

My friends are already trying to set me up on dates/flirt with me themselves. It’s quite flattering and makes me laugh. I don’t really want to date until next school year though.

Andy was good for me. I'll never regret this relationship. He will always have a place in my heart, even if he doesn't want to be there.